Why Depressing Songs and Poetry About Emotional Pain Will Only Make It Worse

One in six Americans take antidepressants. They’re some of the most popular drugs in the United States. Because people know pain is real. Problems are real.

But does that mean we should glorify them? Listen to music and poetry all about them? Fill our hearts and minds with a spirit of depression? “Express our emotions” by rehashing all that negativity?

Or is there a different and maybe even better way to deal with our pain and problems than throw a pity party?


And they are very self-centered. I know, ’cause I used to write them. Maybe I’ll share a snippet of the patheticness later in the post, but no promises. Wouldn’t want anyone to die of laughter.

They’re all:

Me, me, me. I, I, I. Look what’s happening to me. It hurts. My life stinks. That person broke up with me, I failed this amount of times, people have hurt me so much, my heart is broken in a million thousand pieces and waaaa!


i cry tears
pooling a puddle around my body
drowning in my own tears as i weep,
for the pain
is deeper
than all

Ack! It’s like nails on a chalkboard! Not only does the lack of capitalized I’s drive me insane, but look how depressing and sad those are. That song and that poem are not beautiful. They’re self-pity.

I’m begging to be pinned, just hover over me!

Remember that ridiculously simple trick to instantly turn any bad day around? Turn that over on its head. Flip it.

Start complaining. Start singing a relatable, depressing song about pain and problems. Watch your mood and your day go downhill from there.

I promise you.


They are wallowing in self-pity. They’re depressed. Some of them are even Christians.

But they live their lives in defeat, making music or writing about their pain and their problems.

It’s no coincidence. People who sing about getting their heart broken get their heart broken. People who write about how much they’re hurt stay hurt. People who profess and proclaim all the problems going on in their life aren’t getting rid of them by doing that.


You may not be depressed. You may have chosen to have a great life despite any hard times the devil throws at you. You may live an undefeated life!

But then you start listening to the “beautiful” music about pain and pity and defeat. And the lyrics sound pretty. The song sounds pretty. Gives ya the feels.

There’s a spirit behind all media—I’ll talk more about the spirit behind media soon on my author blog. Is there a depressing spirit on that song? Music is either anointed with the Spirit of the Living God or not.

What you allowing through your headphones and into your heart and mind? Will it drag you right back down into defeat and depression?

Does your music glorify the problem… or the Answer?


Now on to my favorite part of this post. *squeals*

He has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows … the chastisement for our peace was upon Him.
(Isaiah 53:4-5)

Don’t sing about your pain and problems. Jesus already bore all that stuff for you! He rendered it all defeated.

I am the living one. I died, but look—I am alive forever and ever! And I hold the keys of death and the grave.
(Revelation 1:18)

The three days He was dead? He spent that time kickin’ some devil butt and stripping pain of all its power.

Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.
(1 Peter 5:7)

One touch of His love can do what no “beautiful” song or poem about enduring pain can do.

He shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you for ever.
(John 14:16)

I’m begging to be pinned, just hover over me!

I don’t wanna sing or write about my problems. I’d rather cast ’em on Jesus! He can comfort me more than any woe-is-me melody can.

When I was younger, I wanted to be a worship leader. I wrote a lot of worship songs, as well as random ditties and melodies. I also had the privilege of leading worship at my kids’ church all the time before I was thirteen.

I really, really liked writing songs. (Writing a worship song to Jesus was actually when I realized I wanted to pray the salvation prayer and fully commit my life to Him!) Even now, I’ll walk around the house and create a spontaneous ditty off the top of my head inspired by something, despite the fact I’m not a great singer.

Some of you may know about my battle with an autoimmune disorder called juvenile arthritis, which I won’t go into right now, but three years ago, I totally let it take over my life. I wrote so many depressing self-pity songs about my problems, it’s ridiculous.

Just for laughs, here’s a snippet.

sometimes my walking turns to limping
my war-torn body is going down today
how can I survive through this awful thing?
it’s like all I have is being blown away

don’t try to console me
this isn’t happening to you

*dies laughing* I can’t even go into the chorus. I CAN’T. I’M DYING. ? The song was called “Great Turmoil”. I actually recorded myself singing it while it was raining. XD

Singing about my problems—serious as they may have been—and wallowing in self-pity didn’t make me feel better about them.

I’m begging to be pinned, just hover over me!

I sang the last verse more defeated and more sad than I was before I began it.

I still fight juvenile arthritis. Every morning when I wake up, every time I stand, every step I take, it’s a fight. But I never let it get me down like it did before. I kick its butt.

The devil thinks he can stop me from running at full speed and fulfilling the plan and calling God has on my life? ? He’s smoking some baaad weed. ‘Cause I believe in the God of miracles, and miracles happen.

I’m begging to be pinned, just hover over me!

Guys, Jesus Christ died so we wouldn’t have to live in depression and defeat. No matter what is going on around us, I’d rather glorify the Solution, not the pain and problems. Why succumb to the circumstances trying to bring you down when we’ve been given the authority to take ’em out?

Yeah, you might be going through some things. I know all about going through some things, believe me.

But take it from my personal testimony: when Jesus is involved, you’re always going to come out better on the other side, having defeated and ripped that thing to shreds! Defy those natural circumstances by singing songs of victory through Jesus instead.

I’m begging to be pinned, just hover over me!


Don’t glorify your pain and your problems. Venting and rehashing negativity isn’t going to get you anywhere.

Pain is real. Problems are real. But the peace of God and the freedom, liberation, and healing that Jesus brings is more real than anything.

This week, I challenge you.

The moment you feel like moaning and groaning about your pain and your problems, start thanking Jesus for what He did on the cross. Let Him take all of that. May this be the best undefeated week of your life, full of the peace and power of God! ?



Guaranteed woe-is-me free. 😉 Subscribe now to never miss a thing here at Madi Grace.

By |2018-01-24T23:32:22-05:00January 29th, 2018|Butt-Kicking, Encouragement, Life Undefeated, Miracles|89 Comments

About the Author:

I'm Madi: blogger, writer, doll collector, and minister of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Learn more about me here and this blog here.


  1. EnniMorgan January 29, 2018 at 1:06 pm - Reply

    Oh. Wow. Madi, that was a beautiful post.<3

    • Madi January 29, 2018 at 3:17 pm - Reply

      Thanks so much, Enni! <3

  2. ?Hope? @agdolldreams January 29, 2018 at 1:10 pm - Reply

    WOW, Madi, this really struck home, I used to do that all the time. PINNED EVERYTHING ONCE AGAIN. THIS WAS JUST WOW.

    • Madi January 29, 2018 at 3:18 pm - Reply

      Writing about your problems can be slippery! I’m so glad I don’t do it anymore. AWWW THANK YOU SO SO SO MUCH. <3 <3 <3

  3. Abby Franklin January 29, 2018 at 1:12 pm - Reply

    *war cry* YES YES YEEEEEEEES MADI!!! Why wallow in misery and self pity when Jesus has taken it all upon himself?? Ohmygosh so many quotable things!!!

    • Madi January 29, 2018 at 3:19 pm - Reply

      YESSS, exactly! ? Thank you so much for commenting!!

  4. Hannah January 29, 2018 at 1:17 pm - Reply

    So true! I love listening to Contemporary Christian music! It’s very encouraging and of course clean and respectful!

    • Madi January 29, 2018 at 3:20 pm - Reply

      CCM is usually awesome! Some of the songs do glorify problems instead of Jesus, though, so I try to be careful with it ?

      • Hannah January 29, 2018 at 3:52 pm - Reply

        True. What is your favorite music group? I like Hillsong and Elevation Worship!

        • Madi January 29, 2018 at 4:06 pm - Reply

          Hillsong and Elevation are incredible! My favorite worship music is Bethel, Jesus Culture, Kim Walker-Smith, and Steffany Gretzinger.

          • Hannah January 29, 2018 at 6:49 pm - Reply

            Yes, those are great ones too!

  5. Sassafras January 29, 2018 at 1:40 pm - Reply

    This was an amazing post, Madison (maybe even my favorite from this blog)! I really do believe that it’s important to listen to music that glorifies God, and not music that dwells on the problems we are having. Unfortunately, there are many Gospel songs that dwell a little too much on our woes. I would say it really doesn’t help. Anyway, thanks for the great reminder, Madison! <3

    • Madi January 29, 2018 at 3:21 pm - Reply

      Aww, thank you so much, Sassafras! I agree completely. It makes me sad to see Christian songs glorifying the problem instead of the Answer. Thank you so much for commenting, Sassafras! <3

  6. Amie January 29, 2018 at 1:49 pm - Reply

    I really needed this post. I’m deathly allergic to fish, so at times I can’t do some things I really want to do. I’m afraid lately I’ve been wondering why God would chose something like that for me, of all people. I didn’t know you had an autoimmune disease.

    • Madi January 29, 2018 at 3:27 pm - Reply

      Don’t worry — God never puts sickness and disease on people. Your fish allergy definitely wasn’t something God chose for you to have. It’s from the devil and can be defeated! ?

      I have something called juvenile rheumatoid arthritis, an autoimmune disorder. God’s worked a lot of miracles in my life, as I’m not in a wheelchair or blind like the doctors were expecting me to do be! I talk more about there here.

      • Amie January 29, 2018 at 5:36 pm - Reply

        Okay! I’ll read it! True, the Lord never wants His children to be sick, but He does want us to be purified like gold.

  7. Danielle January 29, 2018 at 2:00 pm - Reply

    This is so true. I have thought so much about how sad music may be relatable, but it just feeds the persons depression or anxiety .
    The only problem with this post is that I was planning on writing one similar and now I’ll have to change it. XD

    • Madi January 29, 2018 at 3:28 pm - Reply

      It really does! Oh, I’m so sorry! Please don’t feel like you have to change it, it’s fine. ?

  8. blackiesunshine January 29, 2018 at 2:07 pm - Reply

    madi howwwww this is awesome this post i love everything about it yesss
    I really like how you’ve addressed this problem with the media. As I get the feels kind of easily (i know it’s shameful XD) I know that those songs don’t really make me feel better, they just kind of…make it worse. Because now you have words that sound good to express your depression.
    I think the best kinds of songs to listen to when you’re feeling depressed are ones that tell you to fiiiiggghhttt (or something similar). My depression-battling song rn is Tidal Wave by Owl City – the chorus is as follows:

    I forget the last time I felt brave, I just recall insecurity
    ‘Cause it came down like a tidal wave and sorrow swept over me
    Then I was given grace and love
    I was blind but now I can see
    ‘Cause I’ve found a new hope from Above
    And courage swept over me

    And it’s not depressing sounding. So that helps. I really really enjoyed this post and let’s BE UNDEFEATED yay.

    • Madi January 29, 2018 at 3:30 pm - Reply

      Aww thank you so much Tess!

      I used to get the feels so easily too ? But yeah, they really don’t make you feel better. Just worse.

      Aw, that song sounds awesome! I love those last two lines. Thank you so much again!!

      • blackiesunshine January 29, 2018 at 4:24 pm - Reply

        They’re what makes the song awesome XD
        Learning to not rant has helped me immensely in life. Because the less big of a deal you make it, the less big of a deal it is.

        Also, do you do guest posts?

        • Madi January 29, 2018 at 4:28 pm - Reply

          For sure XD

          E-X-A-C-T-L-Y. I used to post public rants on forums all the time and while I did get great advice, I made such a big deal out of things that weren’t that big! XD

          Yes, I do! Do you mean letting people guest post on here or me guest posting on other blogs? I do both (I actually have one guest post on another blog coming up in February and am about to cold-pitch two guest blogging opportunities elsewhere >:))!

          • blackiesunshine January 29, 2018 at 5:17 pm - Reply

            I mean me guest posting on Madi Grace. I’ve finally been able to put the reason why Christian girls should dress modestly into words, and I’d kind of like to share that on a platform where it belongs XD (Not among my weird posts on my weird blog) So yeah, interested??

            • Madi January 30, 2018 at 6:11 am - Reply

              Totally! You can email me the main points of your post / the entire post / whatever info you want to share and I’ll see if it’s a good fit! And I’ll put a guest posting page up soon sometime to make it easier ?

  9. Olive January 29, 2018 at 2:53 pm - Reply

    Wow, you wrote songs? You do write songs? I’m awful at writing songs, I literally forget the lyrics as soon as I sing them. ??? I like singing other people’s songs though! ?
    *starts singing ‘get back up again’ really loudly* *drives family crazy and gets hushed* *hums instead* *drives family even more crazy*
    Most crazily, ~Olive

    • Madi January 29, 2018 at 3:31 pm - Reply

      Yes and yes! ? Haha, it’s the opposite with me, I can remember my own songs super well and get them stuck in my head all the time.


  10. Kendall January 29, 2018 at 3:03 pm - Reply

    YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love this! We can’t dwell on our pain and problems, we need to defeat them! (and has anyone ever defeated pain with “I’m so blue I don’t know what to do!”?) I love VeggieTales references. XD

    • Madi January 29, 2018 at 3:32 pm - Reply

      Thank you SO much, Kendall! Amen! HAHA, VeggieTales ? Thank you so so much for commenting!

  11. apollo January 29, 2018 at 3:12 pm - Reply

    this is a good post, but i don’t entirely agree with you. i think it’s the “listening/reading sad songs/poetry = glorifying depression” part. it’s true that depression is often romanticized, but that’s “suicidal people are just angels who want to go home,” not writing about your feelings.

    twenty one pilots is a good example of singing about depression without glorifying it — and i know you hate that band, but hear me out. their lyrics are often sad, but people listen to them because knowing that you’re not alone in your feelings can save lives.

    writing or singing about being sad is a great catharsis for getting out your emotions. you usually walk away feeling better. and you’re right, glorifying depression will make things worse (it adds onto stigma, people won’t take your symptoms seriously, some might fake depression for the attention, etc.), but using poetry and music as an outlet for your feelings won’t.

    xo apollo

    • Madi January 29, 2018 at 3:40 pm - Reply

      Thanks for commenting anyway! Always makes my day to see a comment from you.

      That’s one of the reasons I respect TOP, actually. They’re a really nice crossover band — I just don’t listen to them personally because I believe that once people turn to God after their lyrics introduce them to Him, they shouldn’t stay in that place of singing about your problems. It’s time to graduate to an undefeated life of letting the Answer take away your problems.

      Getting out your emotions via writing about them might help some people, but it’s never solved any of their problems. That comes down to a personal decision then — feel better about your problems or let Jesus solve them.

      Thanks s’much for commenting!

      • apollo January 30, 2018 at 9:01 am - Reply

        sure, but becoming a christian and telling God your problems doesn’t mean your depression will instantly — or ever — go away.

        xo apollo

        • Madi January 30, 2018 at 10:12 am - Reply

          Definitely not. God’s done everything He’s ever gonna do about it — and that’s where the believer’s authority comes in. Jesus Christ defeated sin once and for all at the cross and grave, then gave the authority over it all to us, too. Depression has no authority over a born-again Christian. We have the authority to take charge and tell it to go. It can only stay if we let it.

  12. Charis Rae • charisrae.com January 29, 2018 at 3:37 pm - Reply

    I totally agree, Madi! People in American complain so. Freaking. Much. And it makes me so annoyed!
    That being said, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with having to express your emotions. Sometimes, it’s comforting to know that others are going through struggles. One of the biggest things I hate about social media/the Internet is that many people show the awesome things about their lives, and that makes other people feel alone, because many people don’t admit that they’re hurting. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with telling others that you’re not feeling well or need some encouragement. I think God works through others to help us realize that He is working in our lives and is near us. As you stated, I don’t think we should be all “woe is me” and try to make everyone else feel bad. But I also don’t think there’s anything wrong with expressing our feelings — as long as we DO remember that God is with us and that He can carry us through.
    Thanks so much for sharing this, Madi! 😀 <3
    P.S. I do have a question for you, something that I've wondered but haven't known who to ask or how to ask it.
    You mentioned homosexuality in your last post, with some verses. How do you interpret "do not practice homosexuality?" Do you think of it as, "Be the gender you were born as a don't feel any other way" or "Don't marry the same sex?" The Bible clearly says not to lie with the same sex, but does that mean it's wrong to feel like you're a different gender? I'm unsure of what verses like this are trying to say, and I thought you might have some insight. Thanks, dear! *hugs*

    • Madi January 29, 2018 at 4:25 pm - Reply

      Same here! Sometimes I wonder if people will ever get over their #firstworldproblems. ?

      I agree — there’s nothing wrong with expressing your feelings. It’s just a personal decision of whether or not you’ll let your emotions have you by expressing them — or will you give them over to God instead? People let their emotions have too much of their lives, when in reality, we’ve been given authority over them. Personally, I’d rather let the Answer take care of my problems than try to feel better about them via expressing them!

      I’ve actually never been comforted to know that other people went through my same struggles. It actually saddens me to know that they haven’t found the Solution yet. XD What is comforting for me is people that have already gone through the same struggles and have a testimony out of it. Must be different for everybody though! ?

      Thanks so much for commenting, Charis! <3

      P.S. The Bible is pretty darn clear about not sleeping with the same sex, so yes, that's what the verse means. But that verse actually does not address being transgender.

      Being transgender is definitely sin (sin being defined as “missing the mark”). “Male and female He created them” — God’s design is perfect. When you decide to play God by changing who He made you to be, that’s missing the mark for sure.

      But a lot of people who are transgender / genderqueer are merely looking for peace and wholeness and we can’t pretend to understand their mental agony, so instead of condemning them, I believe we should meet them where they are and point them to the true Source of peace. There’s a fabulous article about it right here if you’re interested!

      • Charis Rae • charisrae.com January 29, 2018 at 6:39 pm - Reply

        Tell me about it! *facedesk*

        Yes, I totally agree. I really liked how you worded that. 🙂 It’s okay to vent and be frustrated, as long as we keep ourselves focused on God.

        Yeah, I guess that was what I was trying to say. I’m not happy that they’re going through rough times, if it sounded like that. It’s just more that I’m glad I’m not alone – others have already gone through and others are going through it with me. Through God’s strength, we have overcome or are on our way to doing so. 🙂

        You’re welcome! Thank you for this fantastic post, Madi! 😀

        P.S. Wow, that last bit you said is so powerful! What you said made a lot of sense to me, and I just love that! *smiles* 🙂 I hate how many Christians shun trans people when we should be welcoming them to know God. Thank you so much for taking the time to respond to this comment, Madi! *hugs*

        • Madi January 30, 2018 at 6:28 am - Reply

          Yeah, nothing wrong with venting. I just don’t recommend it personally because I’ve never been able to keep myself focused on God and my problems at the same time. The best solution for dealing with negative emotions that I have found is praying and letting Jesus give me peace instead of venting about them, but it is of course different for everyone… just something I don’t recommend. XD

          Ohh okay! ? Ah, true — it’s really encouraging to know that we’re not alone and are overcoming together.

          Aww, thank you so much! <3

          P.S. Phew, I'm glad it made sense! ? Ugh, yes, it's terrible. Christians who shun sinners instead of loving them enough to show them the right way really don't share the heart of God and it makes me so sad. Thank you sooo much for commenting, Charis! ?

          • Charis Rae • charisrae.com January 30, 2018 at 8:16 am - Reply

            Right, I definitely get that. It’s always really nice to pray and talk to God or go for a walk or something like that for me, too. I guess it depends on how frustrated I am, lol. ?

            You’re welcome! ❤

            P.S. I couldn’t agree more! 🙂

            • Madi January 30, 2018 at 10:14 am - Reply

              For sure. It’s pretty tempting to vent but more relieving for me to pray. If only I could remember that more! ?

      • Olive January 29, 2018 at 7:11 pm - Reply

        Sorry to but in, but last year I heard my parents talking to each other, and on the phone to some of our grand parents, and they were discussing something about “auntie C’s decision’ I didn’t here more about it until a little more than a month later, and Mom called me and the two oldest sibs and told us that since we were going to my oma’s retirement party, and aunt C was going to be there, she had to tell us something. She told us that aunt C had become trans, and now wanted to be referred to as ‘he’ the other two started discussing wether they should call her ‘uncle’ now, or just her name, but I was to weirded out. We got there, and she was a LOT different. Her hair had always been short, but now to add onto that her voice sounded starnge, her legs were really hairy, and her breasts had disappeared, and I was to afraid to ask what happened to them. Well, I managed to get through the entire visit (which was a few days) without addressing her at all, I’d just walk up and start talking. The whole thing was a really odd, and as you can tell, I still haven’t gotten used to calling her a ‘he’ and I don’t think I ever will, because I still don’t know what to think of the whole thing. It’s all very different when it’s that close to home. ?
        (I don’t know why I’m telling you all this. I just felt like it.)

        • Madi January 30, 2018 at 6:32 am - Reply

          Awww, oh my goodness, that’s so sad. :/ I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with all that! I’m always praying for you. <3

          • olivehiddenhollow January 30, 2018 at 8:42 am - Reply

            Thanks. ?

        • Abby Franklin March 12, 2018 at 3:56 pm - Reply

          lol I was just skimming the comments like a stalker today and I’m SO late in responding, Olive, but I just wanted to say that I’ve got almost the exact same thing going on in my life.

          My cousin decided she was going to be a boy a couple years ago, and it’s really really weird. My parents hadn’t told me about this and really didn’t have time because of my grandmother’s death and having to rush to the hospital. I finally saw my cousin, but I didn’t recognize her and thought she was my other cousin’s boyfriend (admittedly very embarrassing when I asked lol), and I was so confused at why people were calling her a boy’s name. My parents finally told us what had happened. After that, I literally ignored her the whole time. It was a whole week of not looking, not talking, nothing.

          I haven’t seen my cousin since then, but I decided that if/when I ever do again, I’m going to treat her as I would anybody else, and call her by her real name because that’s who she was born as. I don’t know if she’s going to get angry or whatever but that’s just how I’m dealing with it. I always reference her as a ‘her’ and won’t stop. So that’s how I deal with it.

          I know it’s really helpful to talk out stuff like this. Typing all this out makes my heart a little less heavy myself 🙂

  13. Vanamangirls January 29, 2018 at 3:44 pm - Reply

    Thank you this is just what I needed today.

    • Madi January 29, 2018 at 4:01 pm - Reply

      That makes my day! Thanks for commenting. <3

  14. Josie January 29, 2018 at 3:50 pm - Reply

    10/10 SONG WRITING SKILLS YO. XD I think I’m a bit guilty of listening to sad songs to pity myself (like that time in December with the bOy I WoN’t nAmE), haha, but listening to happier and more upbeat songs is a great way to improve your mood. If it can make you smile and get you dancing, even better. The exception for me would probably be listening to sad songs that comfort you or sad songs that turn happy and use that sad part to emphasize the hope part, if that makes sense. 😛

    • Madi January 29, 2018 at 4:04 pm - Reply

      OH DEAR. ?

      I used to do the same thing! Upbeat songs are just the best for lightening your mood. XD I agree about the sad songs turning happy — in Light of Dawn by Matthew Parker (lol sorry about him and NF), it’s all about people being lost and needing a Savior. IT’S SAD, but it doesn’t glorify sin and sadness — it glorifies the Solution.

  15. Rose January 29, 2018 at 4:29 pm - Reply

    Exactly Madi. I really love your quote “I don’t want to sing about my problems. I want to sing about the God who got rid of them.” That is so true. I am kind of inspired by this post and am thinking about doing a post about motivational/happy songs. I will definitely pin your pictures. Speaking of that, how did you get the little pin button on them?

    • Madi January 30, 2018 at 6:09 am - Reply

      Thank you so much, Rose! That means so much to me and AHH THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR PINNING! <3 I got a plugin called Pinterest PinIt Button for WordPress.

  16. Zella T January 29, 2018 at 5:19 pm - Reply

    Nice post bae! Ironically, I kind of disagree and I personally think that if someone is expressing their sad feelings through song, they should….but then throw it in the trash can afterward. I do that sometimes.

    • Madi January 30, 2018 at 6:15 am - Reply

      Thanks so much! Personally, I don’t recommend allowing your emotions to lead you to believe you must express yourself — it could lead to a lot of other things as well. Expressing your emotions could help people, but the best solution for dealing with negative emotions that I have found is praying and letting Jesus give me peace instead of venting about them. Is is, of course, different for everyone — just something I don’t recommend. XD

  17. cameradolls January 29, 2018 at 5:31 pm - Reply

    That was an awesome and uplifting post. (And speaking of singing, I am actually learning to sing the Isaiah verse. It’s in Handel’s Messiah.)

    • Madi January 30, 2018 at 6:15 am - Reply

      I’m so glad you liked it! (AND OOH! I bet you sound great.)

  18. AAG January 29, 2018 at 6:28 pm - Reply

    Oh my gosh, that was a great post! What is arthritis like? Is it like being sore, or no?

    • Madi January 30, 2018 at 6:18 am - Reply

      Thanks so much, Maelyn!

      I have a type of arthritis called rheumatoid arthritis, so for me, my joints get swollen and inflamed. They become stiff and painful to move. My knee actually used to be unable to bend back all the way. So kind of like being sore, but on an intenser level.

      • AAG January 30, 2018 at 10:10 am - Reply

        Wow, that seems super painful. I think that’s the type my grandma has.

  19. ThePolkaDotPatriot January 29, 2018 at 6:39 pm - Reply

    You made some great points, Madison! A lot of songs do seem to be very me-centered.
    One of my current favorites is My Worth is Not in What I Own by Keith and Kristyn Getty. It doesn’t SOUND super upbeat, but the lyrics… <3

    • Madi January 30, 2018 at 6:29 am - Reply

      Thank you so much! Songs like that annoy me the most. XD

      Ooh, I’ll have to check it out! Sounds beautiful.

  20. Sarah @ paper crescendos January 29, 2018 at 6:42 pm - Reply


    I feel like expressing emotions is an important part of healing from things like mental illness for many people, but on a more theological note, I do kind of have a point I want to ask about. The Bible shows that it isn't always God's will to take away our suffering or problems (i.e. Paul's thorn in the flesh), and it's not really that easy to "turn off" or ignore illnesses (especially mental illnesses or mental health problems — faith isn't a push-button, immediate-gratification reward. There's always suffering involved, but of course you already knew that haha). Like Paul's thorn, which he asked for God to take away — instead, he was made to lean more on God's grace. He doesn't take our pain away, but we CAN bear it by turning to Him & his grace, and THAT'S what makes his yoke easy and burden light. That's just something that stuck with me from a sermon & I'm genuinely curious — what are your thoughts on that?

    p.s. o my goodness this was a long comment XD

    • Madi January 29, 2018 at 7:41 pm - Reply


      I've actually studied Paul's thorn in the flesh -- contrary to popular belief, I don't believe that was a sickness. If you study two other verses from earlier parts of the Bible, "thorns in your flesh / side" were actually phrases referring to people who persecuted the Israelites for their faith. Paul was talking to God about all the persecution He was receiving, and persecution is one thing Jesus promises we will have. Jesus PROMISES life will be hard -- but we are always given the victory to overcome them in His Name through what He already did on the cross.

      I hope that makes sense and I'm definitely not trying to argue or anything! ?

      • Sarah @ paper crescendos January 30, 2018 at 3:31 pm - Reply


        Oh, that's a really cool perspective about the persecution thing!! I feel like it still holds true in other situations that faith isn't "become a Christian and all your problems will magically go away" since it's our doubt and weakness that goes away, not our struggles, but that's really cool about the thorn in the flesh thing. I learned something new today haha!

        And no, I didn't think you were arguing at all! KNOWLEDGE SHARING WOOHOO.

        • Madi January 30, 2018 at 3:37 pm - Reply

          For sure! I believe Jesus is the answer to all life’s problems, but there’s still a battle to overcome them. Faith definitely isn’t a magic button. ? Yeah, I had no idea about the thorn in the flesh ’til a few weeks ago and I was always so confused about what in the world it was. XD

          Oh, phew! ? I have a tendency to come across as rude so I definitely wasn’t trying to be pushy or anything ?

  21. Allison January 29, 2018 at 8:36 pm - Reply

    Great post and great point, Madi! It was really interesting to read other people’s thoughts in the comments too. 🙂
    I can see how both sides of the argument could be true. On the one hand, the reality of life is that this world is now broken and sinful, and I agree with Loren and Charis that sometimes admitting that fact is helpful for yourself and for others. It’s not good to ignore that pain exists (and I’m not saying you’re doing that 😉 ). That’s actually one of the most annoying things about CCM for me – they’re almost TOO positive, if you know what I mean. XD It’s like they’re scared to acknowledge that sadness exists, and they just keep relentlessly pushing unrealistic optimism sometimes. Acknowledging the brokenness of this world can draw people in because they understand that YOU understand. Jesus was heartbroken over this broken world. He wept over it. But he didn’t just keep crying, he did something about it. He didn’t just see the pain, he healed it. I think that’s an excellent example for us to follow. 🙂
    It’s like Joy vs. Sadness on Inside Out. There’s a place for both.
    However, I totally agree with you that if you KEEP harping on the sad things, keep crying a few tears at a time, before you know it you’ll be drowning in salt water. I don’t think it’s good to only or mainly listen to sad music because music impacts you more than you think. Especially if it’s a catchy tune, the lyrics keep running through your head whether you want them to or not, and if something is repeated enough times, the sad thing is you start believing it. The lyrics WILL come back – to either bite you or bless you. Be careful what you listen to.
    So basically, I think it’s good and proper to acknowledge the pain in this world, but I DON’T think it’s good to wallow in it, especially because as Christians, we know that pain is not the ultimate reality. 🙂
    Thanks again for the post, dear! It was really thought-provoking and I really enjoyed the conversations about it too. 😀

    • Madi January 30, 2018 at 6:45 am - Reply

      Thanks so much, Allison! I agree, reading the comments is one of my favorite parts of reading posts. ?

      “The lyrics WILL come back – to either bite you or bless you. Be careful what you listen to.” << LOVE that! So true! "So basically, I think it’s good and proper to acknowledge the pain in this world, but I DON’T think it’s good to wallow in it, especially because as Christians, we know that pain is not the ultimate reality. " Definitely! Feeling emotion for pain is never wrong. But throwing a pity party and focusing solely on our problems without ever turning to God and letting Him heal them only makes it worse. One thing I love about faith is that it doesn't ignore the problems we face -- it's hope in believing Jesus helps us overcome them! Acknowledging we have something to deal with is just part of living in a fallen world -- I'm sorry if my post made it seem like we should ignore our problems. 'Cause that sure isn't gonna work! ? Thanks so much for adding to the discussion! I'm really enjoying the conversations, too. One-sided blog posts are never any fun. XD

      • Allison January 30, 2018 at 8:45 am - Reply

        You’re welcome! 😀 XD
        Hee hee. 🙂

    • Sassafras January 30, 2018 at 2:35 pm - Reply

      I agree with what you said, Allison! Nicely said! I think it’s very important for Christians and Gospel songs to acknowledge the struggles we all have, because I think when we don’t, people feel too ashamed to admit or address their problems. However, you can certainly acknowledge these difficulties without wallowing in them. A great example of that in song is the “Put it Right There”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gbjMDMFMW48
      Also, here is the link to where you kind find the lyrics: https://thelefevrequartet.com/lyrics (That’s for you, Madison, since I know you don’t watch YouTube)

      • Madi January 30, 2018 at 3:33 pm - Reply

        Aww, thanks for the non-YouTube link, Sassafras! You’re so thoughtful. ☺️

      • Allison January 31, 2018 at 9:32 am - Reply

        Thank you thank you! Yes, that’s very true. 🙂

  22. Rebekah January 29, 2018 at 9:33 pm - Reply

    I know I haven’t commented in a looooong time but I saw this article headline in my inbox and I knew I needed to read it. This post was so well written and exactly what I needed. Thanks 🙂

    • Madi January 30, 2018 at 6:46 am - Reply

      Awww, that means so much to me! I’m so glad you liked it and thanks so much for reading. You’re such an encouragement. ☺️❤️

  23. kirstyntodd January 30, 2018 at 2:44 pm - Reply

    The most depressed people listen to country music.

    The majority of country music in a nutshell:
    “My wife left me. My kid died. So did my dog. My tractor blew up. Everything is going so wrong. I’m just gonna drink myself to death.”

    Huh. No wonder.

    • Madi January 30, 2018 at 3:34 pm - Reply

      ??? THAT MADE ME LAUGH SO HARD. I haven’t heard a country song that wasn’t somewhere along those lines. XD Very important to guard what we’re letting through our headphones and into our hearts for sure!

  24. Starling January 31, 2018 at 12:35 am - Reply

    This was a brilliant post, Madi. It was very encouraging towards me. Thank you!

    • Madi February 1, 2018 at 6:14 pm - Reply

      Aww, thank you so much, Starling! I’m super glad you liked it!

      • Starling February 5, 2018 at 2:32 am - Reply

        You’re welcome! By the way, your profile picture is so cool.

        • Madi February 7, 2018 at 4:35 pm - Reply

          Thank you so much!

  25. Emmie January 31, 2018 at 2:04 pm - Reply

    Madi, this is just what I need right now! I’m going through a rough patch right now–I just got back from the hospital with Type 1 Diabetes. (I can’t watch cooking shows without thinking about needles. XD) I turn to writing to express myself a lot, and it helped to read this post to remind me that God is always there and I don’t need to soak in my sadness!!

    • Madi February 1, 2018 at 6:15 pm - Reply

      Aww, I’m so glad! <3 I'm praying for you every day and totally understand illnesses like that. "I don't need to soak in my sadness" < I LOVE that! ?

      • Emmie February 2, 2018 at 9:09 am - Reply

        🙂 Thank you so much, Madi!

  26. kirstyntodd February 1, 2018 at 4:58 pm - Reply

    Hey, do you take piano lessons?

    Even if you don’t, I’d like some advice. What do you do when you’re FREAKING FRUSTRATED that you can’t JUST GET THIS ONE THING DOWN?! I have this problem once and awhile, and it’s SO ANNOYING!!

    • Madi February 1, 2018 at 6:21 pm - Reply

      Argh, that’s always so annoying! I don’t take piano lessons but it always helps me whenever I start to get frustrating to take a break and calm down, then come back to work at it a little bit at a time. And praying for help never hurts! XD

      • kirstyntodd February 2, 2018 at 5:21 pm - Reply

        Thanks! XD

  27. Olivia Bell February 6, 2018 at 4:10 pm - Reply

    This was so great, so true too! I was wondering about your thoughts on songs that say, like, hold on let me get some lyrics, these are to “We Win” by MercyMe: I was wondering what you think, do you like the kind of songs that talk about problems, and then glorify God who helps us out of them? I love those kind, where they say, like we may be down and broken, but we have the victory to overcome them with Christ? Read these lyrics and let me know your thoughts!
    I don’t, have to know you, just to know you
    Have been lied to at some point or place
    Well, I can relate
    And you’re wondering, if it’s worth it
    Heartbroken, feeling worthless
    Oh the hurt is too great
    Like a punch in the face

    But don’t forget
    We’ve got something else in common
    Bigger than all our pain and all our problems

    This goes out to anyone down for the count
    It’s not over
    Don’t give up, don’t throw in the towel
    Just remember, who you belong to
    Let Me remind you
    How this ends
    We win
    Woah, we win

    We get pushed down, we get beat up
    So afraid life’s gonna keep us
    Up against the ropes
    But hang on there’s hope
    ‘Cause if Christ is inside us it won’t be a fair fight
    ‘Cause Deep down we know
    How the story goes

    This goes out to anyone down for the count
    It’s not over
    Don’t give up, don’t throw in the towel
    Just remember, who you belong to
    Let Me remind you
    How this ends
    We win
    Woah, we win
    We win
    Woah, we win

    Ain’t no stopping us
    He’s not done with us
    We are more
    More than conquerors
    Ain’t no stopping us
    He’s not done with us
    We, are
    More than conquerors!

    Just remember, who you belong to
    Let Me remind you
    How this ends
    We win
    Woah, we win
    We win
    Woah, we win

    Ain’t no stopping us
    He’s not done with us
    We are more
    More than conquerors
    Ain’t no stopping us
    He’s not done with us
    We, are
    More than conquerors!

    Ain’t no stopping us
    He’s not done with us
    We are more
    More than conquerors
    Ain’t no stopping us
    He’s not done with us
    We, are
    More than conquerors!

    • Madi February 10, 2018 at 5:29 pm - Reply

      Thanks so much, Livy!!

      About the song, the first couple lyrics do create a nice contrast, but getting that part alone stuck in your head and singing it over yourself just makes me nervous. I like songs that speak about the past in past tense. Because maybe we were that way before Jesus, but we don’t have to stay that way once He’s involved. For example:

      And I was wondering if it’s worth it
      I was heartbroken, feeling worthless
      Oh the hurt was too great
      Like a punch in the face

      That way you don’t catch yourself proclaiming negativity over your life. That’s such a beautiful song by MercyMe, by the way!

  28. Blue March 2, 2018 at 4:21 pm - Reply

    I have to say, though I’m late to the party, that I do Not agree with this. Knowing that there’s someone else out there who feels the same way I do lightens my mood, and has kept a panic attack away a number of times, and given me a little bit of strength to keep myself together the rest of the day. I’m not glorifying my problem, I’m actually dealing with it, because it works for me. Other people might feel worse after a depressing song, but it helps me. Depressing songs don’t entirely help me (God and meditating are big helps!) But they HELP. And I’m sure someone out there like me listens to depressing songs and feels better when it’s over, probably doesn’t feel quite ready to face the day again, NOT because they’re more depressed, but because songs don’t solve the problem. They can’t. But they help, and that’s what’s important.

    And ALSO, the moment you said to stop ‘moaning and groaning’ I’m sorry, but that’s insensitive to people like me. We might vent because it makes us feel better (again THIS HELPS ME AND PROBABLY OTHERS) but moaning and groaning? No.

    And we? Are not ‘wallowing’ in self-pity. A lot of us probably HATE ourselves, we don’t PITY ourselves in the least. And is being depressed being defeated? Yes, we are constantly beaten down by hateful thoughts towards ourselves, but we’re not DEFEATED. We can get better, and we will see we same out better in the end, yes, but that doesn’t keep out the thoughts right now. The hate. The terrible self-image. None of it. We need help NOW, and sometimes venting or listening to depressing songs helps us. It’s not a cure, but it HELPS and that’s what’s important.

    And Jesus? Yes, he may have borne all our problems, but that doesn’t erase them. Saying that
    He (do you capitalise he when talking about Jesus?) already dealt with it doesn’t help. And it might even make you feel worse, thinking that you shouldn’t feel this way because Jesus already bore all my problems, I’m such a failure for having these non-existent problems, and then we end up reaching for the knife or the lighter or the scissors and hurting ourselves because it helps the guilt and failure recede a bit, which is making it worse because it’s not healthy or safe to rely on those habits to stay alive, and it doesn’t help in the long term! But SONGS? don’t hurt you like saying to yourself that you’re worthless or cutting. If the singer says that they feel worthless, you know what I’d think? I’d think, “I feel that way too!”

    In conclusion, I’ve already said this, but SONGS HELP (me). And they probably help others! But they don’t help EVERYONE, and may actually be destructive. Your argument that they make it worse is VALID for some people, but others, no. And songs are not destructive like self-harm or a horrible self-image for some. At least for me, they HELP.

    And also, um, I don’t mean any offence, especially with the paragraph about Jesus.

    • Kirstyn Todd March 6, 2018 at 7:23 pm - Reply

      I can see how this makes sense. Your mind just works differently than others. Some people hear a sad song and think, “I’m glad I’m not alone,” others hear a sad song and think, “This is what I’m going through, I feel horrible, nothing’s going right.” So yes, you’re right. But you can’t listen (notice I didn’t say HEAR, I said LISTEN) to a happy, encouraging, uplifting song and still be depressed unless you’re not human or something. And you can’t think, “You know, Jesus understands what I’m going through, He’s here for me” without being at least a LITTLE encouraged. You can’t think about Heaven without being encouraged. You can’t think about everything Jesus has done for us without being encouraged. You get the idea.

      And yeah, you capitalize He when referring to Jesus or God. Shows a greater respect.

      I mean to offend no one by what I said.


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